In the mood for something a bit more innocent (and a lot less awful) than what I have been subjecting myself to lately, I opted to see Tangled with my wife. From the get-go, everything was going along fine. We had good seating. The popcorn was nice and buttery. The kids in the row ahead of me were totally unaware that I was reaching over and stealing entirely from theirs. But then something happened… the SINGING started. Oh God how I hate singing!
This is what I’ve always liked about Pixar’s movies: no singing! Sure, there are songs, but not in the form of Woody or Buzz carrying a conversation entirely through song. And even then, their songs are usually much more meaningful than the average, “I’m SINGGGGGGGGGING just to SINGGGGGGGGGGG!” garbage that I can’t stand. But on the other hand, it’s not like I shouldn’t have known it was coming. That said, Tangled is an enjoyable movie nonetheless, regardless of my ogre-ish attitude when it comes to the cutesy stuff, like princesses, magic, and of course, singing.
If you’re unfamiliar with the tale by now, Tangled is the story of Repunzel, who has an interesting characteristic for a Disney princess: her hair is naturally blonde. Not like that skank Cinderella, who was clearly a redhead until she became a princess and could hire a good colorist. Oh, and her hair is really, really, really long, too. Like, Wilson’s back hair kind of long.
As it happens, Repunzel is also locked away in a tower for the benefit of a fiendish witch, who essentially kidnapped her as a baby and raised her to believe that she was her daughter, so that she may always have access to the magical healing powers within Repunzel’s hair. Not to mention, there’s no kind of labor like cheap, affordable child labor! How else do you keep such a high profit margin when you’re trying to move knock-off Gucci wallets on the street? Through various misdeeds, the thieving Flynn Rider winds up in Repunzel’s tower looking for a place to hide and Repunzel, who yearns to leave the tower and see the world, coaxes him into leaving and taking her with him, where they cross paths with grog swilling barbarians, knights in pursuit of Flynn Rider, and even a relentless horse that has taken it upon himself to capture Flynn and bring him to justice.
I like that Repunzel was kept relatively childish and goofy, as opposed to being a model princess like you might have once expected out of Disney, which lends some bitter-sweetness to the ending. But out of all the characters, my favorite would have to be… the horse. All in all I enjoyed the movie, and if you can stomach singing any better than I can, I don’t see why you wouldn’t enjoy it yourself. Just don’t let any parents catch your hands in their child’s popcorn. Luckily, my darling wife was at my side, making it so much easier to blame it all on her.