Words cannot express how excitedly I waited for this movie to make it to DVD. If you’re anything like the infamous Mr. Wilson or myself, and have been longing for the day when the movie industry delivers us a comedy as great as The Naked Gun, then I am proud to announce that such a movie has finally arrived. And they call it: Black Dynamite. Observe.
Of course, this movie has nothing to thank the movie industry for, because if not for being made independently, Hollywood probably wouldn’t have made it at all. That, or it simply wouldn’t have been made right. In fact, probably the movie’s saving grace is that the director didn’t have the budget to film things like helicopter stunts, or action packed car chase scenes. He borrowed it all from stock footage. Which contributes more to the comedy than even the actors do. The only problem is that outside of every nerd at Comic Con, nobody has heard of this damn movie! And with such a limited release in theaters, I had no idea myself that Black Dynamite even existed until it was too late.
Needless to say, when the day finally came on February 16th, the day that Blockbuster finally put three whole copies of Black Dynamite on their shelf, you better believe I was there, waiting impatiently to rent one of those copies. Maybe even all three copies. I knew as soon as I saw the cover, with Black Dynamite himself (Michael Jai White) holding a .44 magnum in one hand, and nunchucks in the other, that the wait was well worth it.
As you can see from the trailer, the movie is centered around none other than Black Dynamite, who is known by no other name, not even by his family (even in a flashback to his mother on her deathbed, she still calls him Black Dynamite). Black Dynamite is so bad to the bone, that when his brother is killed on the streets and the detective on the scene realizes whose brother he is, the detective launches into one of the greatest monologues ever, all over top of footage of cars flipping and blowing up. “Do you know whose brother this is? The streets will run crimson with the blood of the men responsible for his brother’s death! The man I’m speaking of is a veritable one man army!”
It’s the perfect build-up to all the ass whoopin’ that follows.
But Black Dynamite is not just a complete and total mockery of 1970’s blaxploitation films, it’s the perfect homage to blaxploitation and a kickass blaxploitation movie in its own right. It’s nothing at all like I’m Gonna Git You Sucka or Undercover Brother, which are movies that don’t even take place in the 70’s, no, THIS movie is so dead-on target that you could hold it up to any movie from that genre and not tell the difference.
That said, Black Dynamite is easily one of the funniest comedies out there, and one of the worst movies. Which is exactly what the filmmakers intended. Complete with terrible acting, piss-poor editing, grainy film quality, overly obvious stunt doubles, boom microphones that interfere with the actors, and a plot so far over the top you can’t help but just laugh at the absurdity of it all. Keep an eye out for things like drug dealers getting flung through windows, who appear in the next frame in the same outfits but are supposed to be entirely different people. Or the one character who doesn’t just recite his own lines, but narrates directly from the script with things like, “The militants turn startled!” when Black Dynamite enters the room behind him.
One of my favorite things about this movie is Michael Jai White’s demeanor as Black Dynamite, with all the straight-faced seriousness that made Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) so funny to watch in The Naked Gun movies (only at times he loses his nerve and starts shouting obscenities at people for no reason other than that he’s just a bad motha’—shut yo’ mouth!) Furthermore, I thought White proved himself so suitable for comedies, that I’d love nothing more than to see him in a new series of Naked Gun sequels as the new lieutenant who takes up Frank Drebin’s mantle. Or at the very least, the replacement for Sgt. Nordberg (you know, since the last guy who played Nordberg is, well… a murderer).
One thing is for certain: that because of the sheer amount of 70’s street slang spoken in Black Dynamite, I foresee a hysterical new vocabulary for us. For all the years that Wilson and I have known each other, we have always been able to carry conversations entirely in lines that we’ve memorized from either The Naked Gun or The Simpsons. Don’t be surprised if our next movie review together is virtually unreadable with repeated use of the term, “You jive turkey!” in reference to actors, directors, and one another.
But if anything about this movie stands out as a character all on its own, it’s definitely the soundtrack. Which is surprisingly not borrowed, and it captures the various moods of your typical 1970’s action movie so perfectly, whether it’s the stereotypical music you’d expect to hear in a porno whenever Black Dynamite raps to the ladies, or the dramatic music you’d expect to hear when Chuck Norris is snapping someone’s neck with his mind. My only question for whomever may be waiting for me at the front counter at Blockbuster will undoubtedly be, “How much to BUY your three copies of Black Dynamite?”
On a scale of one to four stars, I give Black Dynamite two thumbs up.